A Wild Weekend, in Two Chapters

I've given myself 15 min to write this post because we have A LOT going on right now.  T minus 5 days to departure.  No time for reflection - just the facts here on our very eventful last weekend in Rwanda.

Chapter 1: Ingagi

For our final wildlife experience here, we planned a trip to see the mountain gorillas (ingagi) in Volcanos National Park.  Since you have to be 15+ to do this, we timed our adventure to happen after Mazie's 15th birthday.  Sadly, Mazie tested positive for COVID on Friday morning (she'd been home sick the day before and had some symptoms starting Monday)... we debated canceling the whole trip, but since Caleb and I felt ok, Mazie said she was ok with it, and Anaclet was adamant that we should go, we decided to forge ahead with just the 2 of us. 

We drove up and stayed near the park on Friday night, and then woke up early on Saturday.  Checked in at the park headquarters and were assigned to a group of 8 plus a guide.  Anaclet drove us about 40 min to the drop off point, and we set off on foot with our guide, our group, and a few porters.  About another 50 min walk through farmlands to the park entrance, and then a muddy uphill 1.5 hr hike into the jungle.  A group of trekkers were up ahead scouting out where our gorillas were.  We eventually met them on the trail, left our backpacks and walking sticks, put on masks (to prevent giving or getting diseases to/from our primate relatives), and bushwhacked off the trail for a couple of minutes until...

INGAGI!

We got to spend an hour with them.  It was magical.  There were apparently 14 gorillas in this troupe - I think we saw about 10 of them.  First was the lead silverback with a 1 year old baby and another juvenile... also one in that tree over there.

Then there was a mama & 3 yr old baby, and another juvenile that came VERY close to Caleb on the path.

Then in another spot close by there was a second silverback (the "vice president") with another mama & 6 month old baby.  The adults were trying to rest but the baby was awake and playful.  I joked that the baby was taking a "nope," which is what we used to call it when our babes refused to sleep at naptime.

Time's up!  Chapter 2 will have to wait. Full Ingagi photo album here.

...

(Waiting for lunch with Caleb... taking a few minutes to get this started.)

Chapter 2: Block Party

We got back from our ingagi trek on Saturday evening and found the kids all intact and happy.  On Sunday, we had a "block party" at our house with our neighbors.  Caleb has successfully set up SACCO accounts for 22 families at this point.  The original intention for these accounts was to support the families of the kids we've gotten to know on an ongoing basis.  We made a list of kids names and found the mamas who went with them.  (It was also fun to figure out which kids are from the same families - Diane, Jadot, and Paci are all siblings, huh?)  That came to about 17 families.  Then we added Theo and Violette.  Then Vestine brought over a couple of other mamas and insisted that we knew their kids too and needed to add them.  (Then Odette the landlord called and said she'd heard that Vestine was recruiting families and taking a cut of their payments and asked us not to add any more of Vestine's friends.)  So that brought us to 22.  

The idea for the block party was to have a celebration and BBQ with those families, which we estimated would be about 30 kids and 40 adults (mamas and papas).  We talked to Odette about it and she loved the idea.  She talked to Theo, and they came up with the plan that Theo would go buy 2 goats, and then a guy who has a little corner bar on our street would bring his grill over and cook them up at our house.  (Aside: I pictured Theo buying two already-butchered goats, but then he showed us this picture on Saturday night...

and asked to borrow our knife... which we brought with us from the US and is a special one that Ty & Sara gave us... we told him, as best we could, that it was special and we needed it back, and we did get it back, but with some signs of wear and tear because it was apparently used to do this:

End of aside.)

Anyhoo.  On our way back from the gorilla trek we stopped at a big roadside market (near one of the Bridges to Prosperity bridges, actually) and bought 4 large bunches of bananas, 4 pineapples, 4 kgs of passionfruit, and some gooseberries.  We also planned to get a bunch of Fanta.  So with 2 goats-worth of bruchettes and a ton of fruit & drinks, we thought we were all set.

We originally thought we'd just have the gate open and have the party in the driveway, but we quickly realized that once word got out we'd have an unmanageably enormous crowd.  So we decided to have the party inside the gate and just let in the people we invited.  A little before the party Caleb went out to grab drinks (54 Fantas and 18 beers) and came back with a report that the crowd was gathering outside and they were very dressed up.  Which was good info since we were definitely planning on casual BBQ attire.  Kevine came over to help with setup around 3:30, we finished getting ready, got fancy, and at 4:30 Caleb and Kevine went down to let in the guests.  

A couple of surprises.  First, there were A LOT of kids... about 54 vs the 30 or so from "our" SACCO families.  Definitely a lot of kids we'd never seen before.  At some point I think one of the mamas said they'd brought family members?  Nieces/nephews perhaps?  In any case, a lot of children.  Second, almost no papas - just one or two, and a lot of mamas... mostly from our families, with maybe 5 or so extras? I think at some point Theo counted 98 people in total, which was more than we had planned for...

What happened from there is a little hard to describe, especially from my intention to write this quickly and just-the-facts (though... we're still here waiting for our lunch 1 hr and 45 min after we got here).  

The kids and parents all sat down in the seats we'd set out.  

(Oh, looks like food is finally coming!  Let's pause.)

...

(Wow, that lunch was a whole thing.  Ended up waiting for 2 hrs for food... great way to spend one of our last days here.  Phew.  Now I'm at Question - gotta wrap this up in 5 min so I can actually do some work today.)

So everyone sits down.  We've got some music playing.  That's fairly normal for a block party.  The not normal thing is that we can't let everyone just come and serve themselves food - from experience, we know that would likely lead to a big scramble with everyone grabbing as much as possible.  So we go around handing out one banana each, and then one passionfruit, and then one slice of pineapple....  With the unexpected guests, we didn't have enough Fanta or brochettes for everyone, so we got 2 more crates of Fanta from Mama Big Tony (not to be confused with Little Tony) who owns a shop a few yards away, and had some of the families share brochettes with the littler kids instead of giving one to every person.  

Brief reflection: no matter how much we have or give, it is not enough.

Somewhere in there, there was a little bit of dancing...

and some speeches (with translation thanks to Kevine and Lambert, who also came with a friend who is a pastor... and gave us a blessing at the end of the night that included telling us that God told him a. we should stop drinking beer and b. we will be returning to Rwanda to live here for 2 years and will continue to do lots of great things for the people of this country... but I digress), and some picture-taking (we wanted photos with each of the SACCO families, which took a while), and some gift-giving (also unexpected - the neighbors got Rwanda art for me & Caleb and nested baskets for the kids).  

There was a lot of hugging and many expressions of gratitude.  

Eventually, the neighbors left and there were just a few of us left... Lambert and the aforementioned pastor, Kevine, and Odette's cousin Ninisa and her brother, who stopped by unrelated to the party to try (for about the 5th time) to install the security cameras Ahya brought back in Feb post-TV theft.  Caleb and I hadn't eaten anything at this point... there was a platter of brochettes and goat ribs that had been set aside for us, so we brought those out and managed to have a few bites (I think I had a full brochette but Caleb only got maybe one bite).  

And then the rest of the guests left, and we went to bed.

That's all I have for today.  Thoughts and Feelings about all of this will have to wait. Full photo album here.

Mazie is 15!

Mazie James, aka Peanut Dickinson, aka the original raison d'etre of this blog, turned 15 on Tuesday.  It was a low-key celebration: she went to school, and then we went to Sakae for dinner (so she could have her favorite food: chicken fried rice), and then we came home and had cake with Kevine and Theo. Her big present was a new (refurbished) iPhone 12, which Grandpa brought in his luggage.  It takes .5 photos, whatever that means, and she's very excited about that.

Kevine shared this fun little photo collage

Even in full teenager mode, Mazie James is a joy.  She is kind and thoughtful and hard-working.  She's been incredibly adaptable during this adventure, and has made some great friends that I hope she'll keep.  For Mother's Day, she wrote me a card that said pretty much exactly what I'd want her to say... so much so that I had to ask if she was just saying what she knew I'd want her to say... which she said wasn't the case.

I appreciate her honesty and her presence and her willingness to stay connected to us, her embarrassing parents, even as she forges her developmentally-appropriate independent path.  I'm excited to see her reconnect with the people and things she loves back home, and I'm also excited to see what sticks from this experience and what she does with the things she's learned here.  Very strange to be parenting an almost-adult, who is still (and will always be) our Baby Mazie.

Caleb's Log v.14 - Papa Kalibu

Here in Rwanda, it is common to call people by someone else’s name.  Like when I was a kid and I introduced myself as “Michael’s little brother.”  For most people, that had much more meaning than the 5 letters that happen to spell my name.  So, while I am Kalibu, I am also Papa Alexa, Papa Athena, Papa Mazie. 

Papa Kalibu got quite the welcome when he arrived and an even better send off when he left.  Somewhere in the middle was a wonderful adventure.

Day One:  Well, we can’t start there, because day 1 was supposed to be back in April.  Grandpa’s passport expired in August 2023, so he wasn’t allowed to fly internationally because it was within 6 months of expiring.  Traveling pros know this rule quite well, but I was shocked by it and so was my dad.  It reminds me of the Seinfeld, “Anyone can take a reservation, but really it’s the holding of a reservation that matters.”  It’s not expired, but I can’t use it anymore…because of the expiration date.  Got it.

So, he rebooked his flight for May, signed up for an emergency passport, got it, and all was saved. 

On Friday morning, he took off from Denver to Chicago, but a delay in that flight got him into Chicago too late to catch his flight to Brussels.  So, he hung out in Chicago for a day or so and then flew to Istanbul, Turkey (which is in Europe while other parts of Turkey are in Asia. fun fact). On Sunday he flew from Istanbul to Kigali with an arrival of 12:15am on Monday.  That flight was delayed and he didn’t get out of the Kigali airport until nearly 2am.  62 hours to get from Denver to Kigali.  Ouch.

He was a trooper and woke up early to have breakfast with the kids and walk them to school.  That walk through the neighborhood and seeing the school is quite the initiation to our community.  Lots to see.  Sensory/information/questions overload.  When we got back to the house, he got his first major greeting from the neighborhood kids, who ran right by me to hug Papa Kalibu.  He was a great participant, hugging them, picking them up, playing with them, and even giving lots of kisses on the hands and foreheads.  He was so fantastic.

We ended up going golfing on Monday while the kids were in school and had lunch at the “halfway house” between the two rounds of 9 holes.  Lunch ended up taking an hour and a half and Papa Kalibu was getting his first major dose of Rwanda Time.  Priceless.

A short afternoon nap and we were ready for dinner at Khana Kazana.  It’s a great Indian restaurant with big tables and a fun atmosphere.  We’ve taken all of our guests here for family style dinner.  Lambert and Anaclet joined us and we had a lovely evening.  During dinner we asked Anaclet if we could go on a quick 1-day safari with Grandpa on Tuesday or Thursday (his idea originally), and he said that Tuesday would work best.  So, suddenly we needed an early bed time for our 5:30am Safari departure. 

Day 2: I’m so glad that we got to drive through the country side, see all that there is to see on the rolling hills and make it to Akagera National Park for the animals and nature.  Papa Kalibu got to see so many amazing animals, but the big 5 were elusive on our brief journey (only the Cape Buffalo showed up).  A very long drive back and our 12 hour safari trip was complete.

 Grandpa is the family photographer, so he has better pictures of Hippos and Zebras and Baboons

Then it was off to dinner at Heaven.  Lexi has been adamant about taking Grandpa to Heaven and Katie and I had been pushing against it.  It’s a fine restaurant, but it’s not a necessary stop on a 5-day trip.  Before Grandpa's trip, we had many great public conversations that went something like this.

Lexi yelling and crying, “Why can’t we go to Heaven?”

“Lexi, I know how bad you want to go to Heaven, I’m just not sure if it’s going to happen.”

“WHY!!!!”

“Listen, Heaven is fine, it’s just really not that great.  I don’t think we need to go there.”

“WE DO!”

“Why do you want to go so bad?  What do you like so much about Heaven?”

“The food is good. They’re really nice. And there is a trampoline and a playground.”

“Okay.  I just don’t think that mom and I want to take Grandpa to Heaven and I’m not sure if he really wants to go.  What if you and I go to Heaven by ourselves a little later?”

“I want to go to Heaven WITH Grandpa.  You promised!”

Getting loud enough that everyone can hear, “NO.  I NEVER PROMISED THAT WE WOULD GO TO HEAVEN!”

We got lots of great looks and I realized that we should be having this conversation in the privacy of our own home.

So, we went to Heaven and it was very good. Nothing to base a religion around.

Day 3: We woke up early on Wednesday to watch GAME 1 of the Nuggets vs Lakers.  It did not disappoint, Jokic continued his post season dominance with 100 points, 65 rebounds, and 42 assists.  

Wednesday is “Club Night” at the golf course, so we headed out for 18 holes with 2 great guys, Emmanuel and Patrick.  Unfortunately, Emmanuel was called away for a work emergency and Remi took his place.  Grandpa struggled with the rental clubs and a body that just spent 3 days traveling, followed by golf, followed by 12 hours in a safari vehicle.  I played pretty well.  Well enough to win a trophy at club night? Nearly.  I lost by 1 point to REMI of all people.  I beat him by 1, but his handicap was 2 more than me, so he got me.  Our friend Patrick got a hole-in-one, so that was quite fun to get back to the clubhouse for the celebration.

Having my dad meet all these wonderful Rwandans and see this part of the culture was really fun for me.  It’s nothing like the kids at the gate and it’s also quite different from meeting Lambert and Anaclet.  So many different Africans, it turns out.

Wednesday afternoon we went to Pili Pili for pool time with the kids and it did not disappoint.  Lovely views, food, drinks, and playing. 

Okay.  Nap time. 

Ready for a night out on the town?  Let’s leave the car behind and get on some moto taxis.  That’s right, I made Grandpa take a motorcycle taxi.  We waited for a normal taxi for a while, but then Grandpa said, “fine, we can take a motorcycle.”  He did great!!!!!

Stopped by club night to meet more people and see that amazing community.  

Then out to meet Katie at Tania’s.  This really cool place that we heard about, but no one was there.  So, we walked to Choma’d where we had great food and atmosphere for the rest of the night.  Bed time!

Day 4: Thursday morning we walked the kids part way to school and then headed to Question Coffee.  It’s our must see coffee shop with a walk through the neighborhood, through a banana field, past some water holes, next to some small hut homes and up a steep hill to the main street.  We couldn’t stay too long, we had more to do.  3^rd moto taxi home and we were off, in the car, to KOKO.

This is a really cool organization that is working to convert the way people cook from charcoal to ethanol.  It’s not as good as electric, but the emissions are very low (great for health), the price and quantity options are equal to charcoal (easy for adoption), and the upfront cost to convert is very low (good for accessibility).  They have rolled this out to a million people in Kenya and they are starting their rollout in Rwanda in August.  So exciting. 

After a nice conversation with the KOKO people, Grandpa and I were off to the Genocide Memorial.  This is not fun, but so important to learn more about this history and how it plays into the present and the future.  We are currently in the 100 days of remembrance from April 7^th, when the genocide began and July 4^th, when the RPF liberated Kigali (88 days, I think is the actual count).  In that short time nearly 1 million Tutsis, moderate Hutus, and Twa were murdered by their neighbors and the Interhamwe militia.  Understanding the process that gets a group of people to hate and dehumanize another group of people is critical work.  “Tolerance of hate speech is one step before tolerance of violence.”  Listening to a former President that wields significant influence speak in hateful tones of “us” vs “them” with great applause is frightening.  The cacophonous echo of the same hate and bigotry becoming acceptable nationwide is even scarier.  We have to remember that every story of atrocity was carried out by humans that really existed.  It’s not make-believe, could never really happen, bullshit.  Hitler was a human.  He was a guy giving speeches to angry Germans.  Nazis were people.  They loved their country and would do anything to protect it from the enemy.  We have to work to listen to each other and find what bonds us, not what divides us.  It’s easy to look at what happened here in Rwanda and think, “that’s their history.”  But it has happened all over the world for thousands of years, including our own Native American genocide.  Sadly, it will happen again.

Heavy shit.

Thursday evening was quite chill.  We napped, hung out with the kiddos, and Katie made a wonderful dinner. 

Day 5: Friday morning, we all woke up early to watch the 2^nd Nuggets game, but something happened with the recording, so we had to stay in the bubble, and record a re-airing of the game at 10:30am for a later watching.  Drove the kids to school and then headed to Nyandungu, a great eco park in the heart of the city.  We rented bikes and rode all around the park, stopping to see birds and plants and wishing Anaclet was there to give us all the information.  It was absolutely lovely.

Off to the science fair!  Athena crushed it (see other blog post).  Her group of 4 had a great project, with a wonderful board, and fantastic explanation of their work and findings.  The whole fair was awesome to see.  One sweet part was that both Lexi and Mazie were able (and excited) to stop by, since they’re all on the same campus.

Then we took Grandpa to the Kimironko market, which is straight out of a movie.  Chaos and tight spaces with lots and lots of vendors trying to help you buy their things.  The best was when the vendors in the little hallway would actually block you from passing them while showing you their supplies.  Grandpa was a cool customer, taking it all in.  Katie and I noticed how calm and confident we were.  It’s been a long 5 months and we’ve definitely grown more accustomed to the culture and we were able to navigate the scene like pros. Off to lunch.

We met up with Kevine for lunch at Sole Luna, a great little Italian place with a view.  Kevine and I worked on the bank books for our neighbors.  We’re up to 20 bank accounts to help people save for school fees and other monthly expenses!

We picked up the kids from school at 2:15 and headed home for the much anticipated Nuggets game 2.  What a fun game and it was amazing to see Murray step up in the 4^th while Lebron looked like a 38 year old that has won enough already.

Lazy afternoon (finally) and then it was off to the airport to conclude a whirlwind 5-day African adventure.

Now thoughts.  😊

It was lovely to have my dad here.  We didn’t plan on having guests this late in our trip, but it was neat to have someone witness the “end” of our time here.  We have grown so comfortable and are certainly living a busy life here.  He met Patrick, Emma, Remi, Lambert, Kevine, Anaclet, Theo, Violette, Vestine and others.  He witnessed the independence of our kids and the complexity of our community.  He saw eco parks, national parks, memorials, markets, garbage piles, and crazy traffic.  He got to see our lives.

He mentioned that it’s rare, if not unprecedented for him to just be with a family for a week.  To just sit and watch what breakfast and dinner look like.  The normal mechanics of a day and a week.  This was a busy week, of course, but I think it meant lot for him to be “in” our family for 5 days.  I know it meant a lot for me that he traveled all this way, through many obstacles, to make this trip happen.

I was also amazed at his stamina.  Everyone knows how much energy my mom has, and her ability to go, go, go is no secret.  I really felt like we pushed my dad to have 24 hours of experiences for 5 straight days.  On day 5, watching him bike through the park, I definitely thought, I hope I’m as active and healthy as he is when I’m 72.  It’s a blessing to have both of my parents alive and present in my life.  To have them healthy and active and engaged is beyond fortunate.  Katie is similarly lucky, but this is my post.  😊Love you Nanny, Papa, and Ahya.

13 more days here.  Holy crap.

The Tattoo - Katie Version

Couldn't let Caleb have all the fun.

Live(ish) blogging this experience.

9:10: Arrived at the tattoo place for my 9 am appointment.  Jaycee's not here.  Caleb and I head over to Question Coffee, 1/2 block away.

9:21: Jaycee texts that he's here.  

9:33: I walk back over with my coffee.  Jaycee is here but the gate to the place is locked.  He calls a guy who says he's on his way over.

9:39: The guy should be here in 5-10 minutes.

9:40: Another guy who is not the guy with the key shows up.  Apparently there is another guy inside who could let us in, but he's not answering his phone.  Probably asleep.

9:46: Jaycee says he just talked to another guy he works with at the other space, where Lexi got her ears pieced and Caleb got his first tattoo.  Should we just head across town to that place?  Let's wait another 5 minutes.

9:52: Another guy who is also not the guy with keys shows up.  He grabs a stick and reaches over the wall to bang on the roof.

9:55: A sleepy looking guy opens the gate.  We're in.

10:10: Jaycee has sketched the tattoo on my leg.  About the right size & position?  Great, he'll go make a stencil.  I will wait.

10:49: Jaycee is back with the stencil: a drawing of the tattoo design on a thin sort of wax paper.  Puts it on my leg and the image comes off.  Looks good. Maybe make the roots a little longer?

10:55: Ready to start? Yes!

10:55: Ow.

11:04: Done with roots and trunk. This part's not too bad. The roots hurt the most.

11:15: Tattoo pain is manageable but my leg is cramping from being in this weird position. Jaycee says he'll give me a break soon.

11:21: Roots weren't actually done. Going over them again. This is the most painful part so far. Breathe. I've had 3 babies & my breath is magic. In & out. Could use that break.

11:38: Break time!

11:45: Break's over. Walked around and got an orange Fanta. Back at it.

Pictures I took of the space during the break.

The gate.

That's the roof the one guy banged on to wake the other guy up.

11:50: Somehow this entire post I've been writing in the Blogger app on my phone... disappears.  Wiped clean.  NOOOO!  Spend a few minutes trying to see if I can recover it.  It's gone.  Give up? 

I've got time to kill.  Let's see if I can go back and recreate from memory.  I'll put in what I can and go back to fill it in later.

12:03: Saved blog post.  Making progress filling it in.  Good distraction.  This is still happening.

12:13: Stretching my leg again.  Jaycee says we're getting close.  10 minutes to go?

12:20: Done?  Let's go check it out!

Done!  I think I love it?  Yes, I love it.  It's a part of me now! 

Let's go home.

13:19: Back home, done filling in details on this post.  Publish.

13:25: Reading over the blog one more time and I realize I haven't really explained what the tattoo is.  

Quick update:

What is it?  It's an acacia tree, with some Rwandan art.  Why?  I love trees, and I wanted a tattoo.  In Rwanda.

Publish update.

The Triumph of Athena

Being in DC last week gave me a good opportunity to start thinking about how to tell the story of our trip, particularly to those who have not followed our every move on here.  (Thanks, loyal readers!)  One thing that's been fun is reflecting on the kids' stories... they've all had their own paths and experiences.  Here's MY perception of how it's gone for each of them:

(Note that when I showed to this to Alexa, she said that it's not right... she was way more upset about coming than Athena was before the trip.  Athena says this looks pretty accurate to her.  Mazie has not yet reviewed. I'm certainly missing other highs and lows... our safaris & Ahya's visit definitely positive bumps too, and there were lots of other challenges and setbacks along the way.  So, this isn't "the truth," but it's not too far off.)

As a parent, watching Athena struggle socially for a lot of the past few months has been tough.  I knew she'd grow from it somehow in the long term, but it was still hard to see her giving up and losing confidence in her ability to connect with others.  She kind of just curled into a ball for a while.  So it's been quite a joy to see her complete turnaround and blossoming starting in late April.  Today was her middle school science fair, and Caleb, Grandpa, her sisters, and I got to go see her present with her team of FRIENDS (Tony, Nixon, and Yafet).  She's been working hard on this project over the past few weeks, including having Tony over to the house to plan for it before I went to DC, and brought the poster board home last night to have Lexi help her decorate it.  Watching her today being fully engaged and smiling and laughing with her teammates and confidently explaining their project on light reflection to the judges was just... triumphant.

Also, for a middle school science fair project, this conclusion section gets pretty deep.  Athena says Yafet and Nixon did most of the writing for it, and Caleb thinks maybe their parents and/or ChatGPT might have helped.  I choose to believe they're just two brilliant middle schoolers, providing a very fitting summary (conclusion/results) for this particular story.