Caleb's Log v.14 - Papa Kalibu

Here in Rwanda, it is common to call people by someone else’s name.  Like when I was a kid and I introduced myself as “Michael’s little brother.”  For most people, that had much more meaning than the 5 letters that happen to spell my name.  So, while I am Kalibu, I am also Papa Alexa, Papa Athena, Papa Mazie. 

Papa Kalibu got quite the welcome when he arrived and an even better send off when he left.  Somewhere in the middle was a wonderful adventure.

Day One:  Well, we can’t start there, because day 1 was supposed to be back in April.  Grandpa’s passport expired in August 2023, so he wasn’t allowed to fly internationally because it was within 6 months of expiring.  Traveling pros know this rule quite well, but I was shocked by it and so was my dad.  It reminds me of the Seinfeld, “Anyone can take a reservation, but really it’s the holding of a reservation that matters.”  It’s not expired, but I can’t use it anymore…because of the expiration date.  Got it.

So, he rebooked his flight for May, signed up for an emergency passport, got it, and all was saved. 

On Friday morning, he took off from Denver to Chicago, but a delay in that flight got him into Chicago too late to catch his flight to Brussels.  So, he hung out in Chicago for a day or so and then flew to Istanbul, Turkey (which is in Europe while other parts of Turkey are in Asia. fun fact). On Sunday he flew from Istanbul to Kigali with an arrival of 12:15am on Monday.  That flight was delayed and he didn’t get out of the Kigali airport until nearly 2am.  62 hours to get from Denver to Kigali.  Ouch.

He was a trooper and woke up early to have breakfast with the kids and walk them to school.  That walk through the neighborhood and seeing the school is quite the initiation to our community.  Lots to see.  Sensory/information/questions overload.  When we got back to the house, he got his first major greeting from the neighborhood kids, who ran right by me to hug Papa Kalibu.  He was a great participant, hugging them, picking them up, playing with them, and even giving lots of kisses on the hands and foreheads.  He was so fantastic.

We ended up going golfing on Monday while the kids were in school and had lunch at the “halfway house” between the two rounds of 9 holes.  Lunch ended up taking an hour and a half and Papa Kalibu was getting his first major dose of Rwanda Time.  Priceless.

A short afternoon nap and we were ready for dinner at Khana Kazana.  It’s a great Indian restaurant with big tables and a fun atmosphere.  We’ve taken all of our guests here for family style dinner.  Lambert and Anaclet joined us and we had a lovely evening.  During dinner we asked Anaclet if we could go on a quick 1-day safari with Grandpa on Tuesday or Thursday (his idea originally), and he said that Tuesday would work best.  So, suddenly we needed an early bed time for our 5:30am Safari departure. 

Day 2: I’m so glad that we got to drive through the country side, see all that there is to see on the rolling hills and make it to Akagera National Park for the animals and nature.  Papa Kalibu got to see so many amazing animals, but the big 5 were elusive on our brief journey (only the Cape Buffalo showed up).  A very long drive back and our 12 hour safari trip was complete.

 Grandpa is the family photographer, so he has better pictures of Hippos and Zebras and Baboons

Then it was off to dinner at Heaven.  Lexi has been adamant about taking Grandpa to Heaven and Katie and I had been pushing against it.  It’s a fine restaurant, but it’s not a necessary stop on a 5-day trip.  Before Grandpa's trip, we had many great public conversations that went something like this.

Lexi yelling and crying, “Why can’t we go to Heaven?”

“Lexi, I know how bad you want to go to Heaven, I’m just not sure if it’s going to happen.”

“WHY!!!!”

“Listen, Heaven is fine, it’s just really not that great.  I don’t think we need to go there.”

“WE DO!”

“Why do you want to go so bad?  What do you like so much about Heaven?”

“The food is good. They’re really nice. And there is a trampoline and a playground.”

“Okay.  I just don’t think that mom and I want to take Grandpa to Heaven and I’m not sure if he really wants to go.  What if you and I go to Heaven by ourselves a little later?”

“I want to go to Heaven WITH Grandpa.  You promised!”

Getting loud enough that everyone can hear, “NO.  I NEVER PROMISED THAT WE WOULD GO TO HEAVEN!”

We got lots of great looks and I realized that we should be having this conversation in the privacy of our own home.

So, we went to Heaven and it was very good. Nothing to base a religion around.

Day 3: We woke up early on Wednesday to watch GAME 1 of the Nuggets vs Lakers.  It did not disappoint, Jokic continued his post season dominance with 100 points, 65 rebounds, and 42 assists.  

Wednesday is “Club Night” at the golf course, so we headed out for 18 holes with 2 great guys, Emmanuel and Patrick.  Unfortunately, Emmanuel was called away for a work emergency and Remi took his place.  Grandpa struggled with the rental clubs and a body that just spent 3 days traveling, followed by golf, followed by 12 hours in a safari vehicle.  I played pretty well.  Well enough to win a trophy at club night? Nearly.  I lost by 1 point to REMI of all people.  I beat him by 1, but his handicap was 2 more than me, so he got me.  Our friend Patrick got a hole-in-one, so that was quite fun to get back to the clubhouse for the celebration.

Having my dad meet all these wonderful Rwandans and see this part of the culture was really fun for me.  It’s nothing like the kids at the gate and it’s also quite different from meeting Lambert and Anaclet.  So many different Africans, it turns out.

Wednesday afternoon we went to Pili Pili for pool time with the kids and it did not disappoint.  Lovely views, food, drinks, and playing. 

Okay.  Nap time. 

Ready for a night out on the town?  Let’s leave the car behind and get on some moto taxis.  That’s right, I made Grandpa take a motorcycle taxi.  We waited for a normal taxi for a while, but then Grandpa said, “fine, we can take a motorcycle.”  He did great!!!!!

Stopped by club night to meet more people and see that amazing community.  

Then out to meet Katie at Tania’s.  This really cool place that we heard about, but no one was there.  So, we walked to Choma’d where we had great food and atmosphere for the rest of the night.  Bed time!

Day 4: Thursday morning we walked the kids part way to school and then headed to Question Coffee.  It’s our must see coffee shop with a walk through the neighborhood, through a banana field, past some water holes, next to some small hut homes and up a steep hill to the main street.  We couldn’t stay too long, we had more to do.  3^rd moto taxi home and we were off, in the car, to KOKO.

This is a really cool organization that is working to convert the way people cook from charcoal to ethanol.  It’s not as good as electric, but the emissions are very low (great for health), the price and quantity options are equal to charcoal (easy for adoption), and the upfront cost to convert is very low (good for accessibility).  They have rolled this out to a million people in Kenya and they are starting their rollout in Rwanda in August.  So exciting. 

After a nice conversation with the KOKO people, Grandpa and I were off to the Genocide Memorial.  This is not fun, but so important to learn more about this history and how it plays into the present and the future.  We are currently in the 100 days of remembrance from April 7^th, when the genocide began and July 4^th, when the RPF liberated Kigali (88 days, I think is the actual count).  In that short time nearly 1 million Tutsis, moderate Hutus, and Twa were murdered by their neighbors and the Interhamwe militia.  Understanding the process that gets a group of people to hate and dehumanize another group of people is critical work.  “Tolerance of hate speech is one step before tolerance of violence.”  Listening to a former President that wields significant influence speak in hateful tones of “us” vs “them” with great applause is frightening.  The cacophonous echo of the same hate and bigotry becoming acceptable nationwide is even scarier.  We have to remember that every story of atrocity was carried out by humans that really existed.  It’s not make-believe, could never really happen, bullshit.  Hitler was a human.  He was a guy giving speeches to angry Germans.  Nazis were people.  They loved their country and would do anything to protect it from the enemy.  We have to work to listen to each other and find what bonds us, not what divides us.  It’s easy to look at what happened here in Rwanda and think, “that’s their history.”  But it has happened all over the world for thousands of years, including our own Native American genocide.  Sadly, it will happen again.

Heavy shit.

Thursday evening was quite chill.  We napped, hung out with the kiddos, and Katie made a wonderful dinner. 

Day 5: Friday morning, we all woke up early to watch the 2^nd Nuggets game, but something happened with the recording, so we had to stay in the bubble, and record a re-airing of the game at 10:30am for a later watching.  Drove the kids to school and then headed to Nyandungu, a great eco park in the heart of the city.  We rented bikes and rode all around the park, stopping to see birds and plants and wishing Anaclet was there to give us all the information.  It was absolutely lovely.

Off to the science fair!  Athena crushed it (see other blog post).  Her group of 4 had a great project, with a wonderful board, and fantastic explanation of their work and findings.  The whole fair was awesome to see.  One sweet part was that both Lexi and Mazie were able (and excited) to stop by, since they’re all on the same campus.

Then we took Grandpa to the Kimironko market, which is straight out of a movie.  Chaos and tight spaces with lots and lots of vendors trying to help you buy their things.  The best was when the vendors in the little hallway would actually block you from passing them while showing you their supplies.  Grandpa was a cool customer, taking it all in.  Katie and I noticed how calm and confident we were.  It’s been a long 5 months and we’ve definitely grown more accustomed to the culture and we were able to navigate the scene like pros. Off to lunch.

We met up with Kevine for lunch at Sole Luna, a great little Italian place with a view.  Kevine and I worked on the bank books for our neighbors.  We’re up to 20 bank accounts to help people save for school fees and other monthly expenses!

We picked up the kids from school at 2:15 and headed home for the much anticipated Nuggets game 2.  What a fun game and it was amazing to see Murray step up in the 4^th while Lebron looked like a 38 year old that has won enough already.

Lazy afternoon (finally) and then it was off to the airport to conclude a whirlwind 5-day African adventure.

Now thoughts.  😊

It was lovely to have my dad here.  We didn’t plan on having guests this late in our trip, but it was neat to have someone witness the “end” of our time here.  We have grown so comfortable and are certainly living a busy life here.  He met Patrick, Emma, Remi, Lambert, Kevine, Anaclet, Theo, Violette, Vestine and others.  He witnessed the independence of our kids and the complexity of our community.  He saw eco parks, national parks, memorials, markets, garbage piles, and crazy traffic.  He got to see our lives.

He mentioned that it’s rare, if not unprecedented for him to just be with a family for a week.  To just sit and watch what breakfast and dinner look like.  The normal mechanics of a day and a week.  This was a busy week, of course, but I think it meant lot for him to be “in” our family for 5 days.  I know it meant a lot for me that he traveled all this way, through many obstacles, to make this trip happen.

I was also amazed at his stamina.  Everyone knows how much energy my mom has, and her ability to go, go, go is no secret.  I really felt like we pushed my dad to have 24 hours of experiences for 5 straight days.  On day 5, watching him bike through the park, I definitely thought, I hope I’m as active and healthy as he is when I’m 72.  It’s a blessing to have both of my parents alive and present in my life.  To have them healthy and active and engaged is beyond fortunate.  Katie is similarly lucky, but this is my post.  😊Love you Nanny, Papa, and Ahya.

13 more days here.  Holy crap.