Our little "Tiger" hits the 37 week mark today, meaning that he/she is officially full term and would be just fine if she/he decided to make an appearance now. I'm still counting on at least another week of work, so we're not in a huge rush, but the countdown is definitely on!
We are so excited to meet BabyBrotherSister. Ahya hosted a lovely baby shower last weekend and it was really nice to spend an afternoon just relaxing and focusing on Tiger's arrival... work, soccer, travel, house stuff, and Mazie have kept us so busy this summer that I haven't had many opportunities to just stop and contemplate what it's going to be like to meet another completely amazing human being. So the shower was great, and then on Monday evening Caleb and I had Ahya, Nana, and Lisa, our doula, over (while Mazie had a sleepover at Olivia's) and got to spend a whole evening talking about our plans and visions for the birth. With all of this, it's definitely becoming more real, though I still can't quite get my mind around the reality of having another child that I'm as crazy about as Mazie. I know in my head that I will be, but it just doesn't seem possible.
Also really curious to find out if BabyBrotherSister is a brother or a sister! Guesses have been skewing heavily in one direction, but I won't give it away just yet... take the poll and let us know what you think!
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
7th Anniversary
This past Saturday was Mom and Dad's 7th wedding anniversary. A couple of days earlier, they showed me their wedding video. I loved watching Mommy and Daddy and was especially interested in all of the flower girls: four of my cousins who are such big girls now but were so little at the wedding! I was a little disappointed that I didn't get to be a flower girl, and kept asking Mom WHY they decided to exclude me from this event. Somehow the fact that I wasn't born yet seemed like a lousy excuse to me. Mom said maybe sometime we can re-enact the wedding and I can be the flower girl. I asked if she could wear her beautiful dress, but she says she doesn't think it would fit over her huge belly.
Last night at dinner I looked over at Daddy and said very sweetly, "Daddy, at my wedding can you walk me down the steps?" Daddy made a strange face -- he was smiling but I also thought I saw tears in his eyes. Weird. Anyway, he said he would be honored, and gave me a really big hug.
Happy Anniversary, Mom and Dad!
Last night at dinner I looked over at Daddy and said very sweetly, "Daddy, at my wedding can you walk me down the steps?" Daddy made a strange face -- he was smiling but I also thought I saw tears in his eyes. Weird. Anyway, he said he would be honored, and gave me a really big hug.
Happy Anniversary, Mom and Dad!
Friday, July 15, 2011
Cottage Trip 2011
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| From Instant Upload |
We took our annual family trip to the cottage this year from June 30-July 10. I had so much fun playing with all my cousins -- we had awesome weather all week, and we rented a pontoon boat one day which was super fun! We didn't get to have our friends up this year, but have already started planning for next year's friends trip!
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| From Wisconsin Summer 2011 |
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| From Wisconsin Summer 2011 |
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| From Wisconsin Summer 2011 |
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| From Wisconsin Summer 2011 |
On our way home we stopped in Madison and saw Eric and Maggie and MORRIS, Shanee, Neil, and baby Orly. I had a great time with Morris and even suggested that maybe he could be my boyfriend. It's a long distance relationship for now.
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| From Wisconsin Summer 2011 |
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| From Wisconsin Summer 2011 |
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Happy Father's Day
To my husband, James Caleb Dickinson, the best Baby Daddy a girl could ever hope for, on his fourth Father’s Day:
About 11 years ago, you first told me that you were going to marry me and be the father of my children. Almost 7 years ago, a sizeable portion of the wedding vows we wrote together was devoted to the theme of building a family together. Almost 4 years ago, you convinced me that, despite the uncertainties and transitions we were facing, the time had come to start a family, and just over 3 years ago our perfect daughter was born, fulfilling your lifelong purpose of being a father.
With all the build-up to this moment, it’s amazing that you have been able to not only live up to but vastly exceed my expectations about what an unbelievable father you would be. Through Mazie’s first two years, you were with her all day almost every day and filled her days with patience, caring, humor, and adoration. You let her be the center of your world and celebrated each tiny milestone. Over the past year, she has been able to use the confidence, self-assurance, and kindness that you instilled in her to smoothly and joyfully transition to a schedule that has her spending more time away from both of us.
Parenting with you has been the most wonderful and fulfilling experience of my life, and as this next year brings our new addition, I am so excited to share this next chapter of our family history, to watch how you fold Tiger into our lives, how (miraculously) you are able to love another being as much as you love Mazie, how you help Mazie grow into her new “big sister” role, and how you continue to nurture and support me and us. I love you so much and am so grateful that you chose me to be your partner through this amazing adventure.
Happy Father’s Day, my love.
Love,
Your wife
About 11 years ago, you first told me that you were going to marry me and be the father of my children. Almost 7 years ago, a sizeable portion of the wedding vows we wrote together was devoted to the theme of building a family together. Almost 4 years ago, you convinced me that, despite the uncertainties and transitions we were facing, the time had come to start a family, and just over 3 years ago our perfect daughter was born, fulfilling your lifelong purpose of being a father.
With all the build-up to this moment, it’s amazing that you have been able to not only live up to but vastly exceed my expectations about what an unbelievable father you would be. Through Mazie’s first two years, you were with her all day almost every day and filled her days with patience, caring, humor, and adoration. You let her be the center of your world and celebrated each tiny milestone. Over the past year, she has been able to use the confidence, self-assurance, and kindness that you instilled in her to smoothly and joyfully transition to a schedule that has her spending more time away from both of us.
Parenting with you has been the most wonderful and fulfilling experience of my life, and as this next year brings our new addition, I am so excited to share this next chapter of our family history, to watch how you fold Tiger into our lives, how (miraculously) you are able to love another being as much as you love Mazie, how you help Mazie grow into her new “big sister” role, and how you continue to nurture and support me and us. I love you so much and am so grateful that you chose me to be your partner through this amazing adventure.
Happy Father’s Day, my love.
Love,
Your wife
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Lost and Found
I know this is a sort of rite of passage that all (or at least most) parents experience at some point, but several hours later I'm still shaken. I lost Mazie today. For probably only 10 minutes or so, maybe even less, but they were some of the scariest minutes I can remember. Of course she's fine, but there's a part of me that's still stuck in "What if" mode. So, so grateful....
Here's what happened. I picked Mazie up from Jen's this afternoon and we drove home. We played together downstairs for a bit, and then I folded some laundry and needed to take it upstairs. Mazie wanted to go play in the backyard, and I told her she needed to come in, but she insisted that she wanted to stay outside, so I made her promise to stay in the yard and told her I'd be back in a minute. "Can I go here?" she asked, walking along the back of the house. "Sure," I told her. She's generally very good at listening and following instructions, so I trusted her not to take off. I went upstairs and put the clothes away, then came back down and walked out into the yard... and she was gone. I looked quickly around the yard and didn't see her anywhere, called her name and she didn't answer, went back inside and called her again... and started to panic. I walked to the front of the house, out into the side yard, looked up and down the street, raced back through the backyard to the alley, looked in our cars parked in back and in the garage, calling "MAZIE!" more and more frantically. Most of my brain was still telling me that she was fine and that everything would turn out okay, but with each second of looking and calling and not finding I was getting more desperate... what else could I do? I decided to call 911. Gave them my address and name, and then they asked what was happening and I told them my 3 year old daughter was missing. I continued searching our house and yard while I gave them details... how long it had been since I had seen her (5 minutes? maybe 10?), what she was wearing (THINK... okay, matching white t-shirt and skirt with little hearts), any recent domestic disputes or threats (nope), had she done this before (no). I kept calling her while I talked, and at some point saw that our neighbors across the street were home and raced over to tell them that I couldn't find Mazie... so Cameron and 5 year-old Julian took off to do a lap around the block calling her name. I went back to the backyard and noted aloud to the 911 guy that our dog was out in the yard with her. "Is the dog still there?" he asked. "Yes," I said, and the tiny piece of my brain that was still rational and not completely terrified told me that this was a pretty good sign that the worst (someone coming into the yard and snatching her) was unlikely -- Wiley is a big dog that can be wonderfully scary if you don't know him. This little tidbit gave that small clump of rational brain cells a jolt, and the next thoughts were, "The gates are still closed and it would be really unlike her to just take off on her own," therefore, "She HAS to be somewhere in the yard." And then I looked down the side of the house and saw the bike trailer. It had actually caught my eye earlier, but at the stage when I was trying to cover as much ground as I could as quickly as possible, and so when I called and she didn't answer I kept moving. Now I walked quickly toward the trailer, which was facing away from me, and called, "Mazie!!" one more time, and when I was about 5 feet away I heard a sweet, quiet, singsongy, "Right he-re!" I got to the trailer and before I even saw her a wave of relief washed over me and I told the 911 guy, "I found her." I think I repeated it 4 or 5 times as I opened the trailer and found the most beautiful little girl in the whole world sitting there with a very confused look on her perfect little face. "Are you sure?" the 911 guy asked, and then told me a car was on its was over to check in and make sure everything was okay. I thanked him 2 or 3 times and hung up, then picked up Mazie and heard Cameron calling her name in the alley... yelled to him that I found her, and he and Julian (poor kid) came in through the back, and then there was a knock on the side gate and two police officers let themselves through. I don't really remember the conversations at that point... the cops were very friendly and asked if everyone was okay. I thanked them for getting there so quickly, and one of the cops said, "Yeah, we had cars all over Louisville heading this way," and then there was a bit of sorting out who was who (Cameron and Julian being the helpful neighbors, not the scared dad and brother of the missing kid), and mostly I just thanked everyone a lot and squeezed Mazie very tightly and then everyone left (I saw a few more cop cars drive by over the next few minutes) and I tried to explain to Mazie what was going on... that I had been very, very worried about her because I didn't know where she was, that I was calling her and calling her and she didn't answer. "But I DID answer," she said, which was true... so I tried to explain that the problem was that I had been calling her for a long time before she eventually answered.... I also told her that I was very happy that she had followed instructions and hadn't left the yard... but that hiding from Mommy without telling me she was hiding wasn't a good idea.
Tonight as she was going to bed I heard her repeating a lot of this lecture to her baby doll... so hopefully it registered. On my end, still processing the whole thing and shaking off the lingering trauma... I'm not and was never for a moment angry with Mazie -- she followed my instructions, like I thought she would, and just thought she was playing a game with me. Will I leave her alone in the yard again? Maybe not tomorrow while I'm still shaking this off, but the truth is I want to give my daughter that freedom and trust. Mostly I'm just really, really grateful that this ended the way it did, and that in the moments when my brain was racing around trying to process everything that was happening, one fleeting thought was, "At least she knows I love her." Of course I spent the rest of the evening hugging her and repeating this over and over and over.... Like I said, a parental rite of passage. Not to be repeated again soon, I hope.
Here's what happened. I picked Mazie up from Jen's this afternoon and we drove home. We played together downstairs for a bit, and then I folded some laundry and needed to take it upstairs. Mazie wanted to go play in the backyard, and I told her she needed to come in, but she insisted that she wanted to stay outside, so I made her promise to stay in the yard and told her I'd be back in a minute. "Can I go here?" she asked, walking along the back of the house. "Sure," I told her. She's generally very good at listening and following instructions, so I trusted her not to take off. I went upstairs and put the clothes away, then came back down and walked out into the yard... and she was gone. I looked quickly around the yard and didn't see her anywhere, called her name and she didn't answer, went back inside and called her again... and started to panic. I walked to the front of the house, out into the side yard, looked up and down the street, raced back through the backyard to the alley, looked in our cars parked in back and in the garage, calling "MAZIE!" more and more frantically. Most of my brain was still telling me that she was fine and that everything would turn out okay, but with each second of looking and calling and not finding I was getting more desperate... what else could I do? I decided to call 911. Gave them my address and name, and then they asked what was happening and I told them my 3 year old daughter was missing. I continued searching our house and yard while I gave them details... how long it had been since I had seen her (5 minutes? maybe 10?), what she was wearing (THINK... okay, matching white t-shirt and skirt with little hearts), any recent domestic disputes or threats (nope), had she done this before (no). I kept calling her while I talked, and at some point saw that our neighbors across the street were home and raced over to tell them that I couldn't find Mazie... so Cameron and 5 year-old Julian took off to do a lap around the block calling her name. I went back to the backyard and noted aloud to the 911 guy that our dog was out in the yard with her. "Is the dog still there?" he asked. "Yes," I said, and the tiny piece of my brain that was still rational and not completely terrified told me that this was a pretty good sign that the worst (someone coming into the yard and snatching her) was unlikely -- Wiley is a big dog that can be wonderfully scary if you don't know him. This little tidbit gave that small clump of rational brain cells a jolt, and the next thoughts were, "The gates are still closed and it would be really unlike her to just take off on her own," therefore, "She HAS to be somewhere in the yard." And then I looked down the side of the house and saw the bike trailer. It had actually caught my eye earlier, but at the stage when I was trying to cover as much ground as I could as quickly as possible, and so when I called and she didn't answer I kept moving. Now I walked quickly toward the trailer, which was facing away from me, and called, "Mazie!!" one more time, and when I was about 5 feet away I heard a sweet, quiet, singsongy, "Right he-re!" I got to the trailer and before I even saw her a wave of relief washed over me and I told the 911 guy, "I found her." I think I repeated it 4 or 5 times as I opened the trailer and found the most beautiful little girl in the whole world sitting there with a very confused look on her perfect little face. "Are you sure?" the 911 guy asked, and then told me a car was on its was over to check in and make sure everything was okay. I thanked him 2 or 3 times and hung up, then picked up Mazie and heard Cameron calling her name in the alley... yelled to him that I found her, and he and Julian (poor kid) came in through the back, and then there was a knock on the side gate and two police officers let themselves through. I don't really remember the conversations at that point... the cops were very friendly and asked if everyone was okay. I thanked them for getting there so quickly, and one of the cops said, "Yeah, we had cars all over Louisville heading this way," and then there was a bit of sorting out who was who (Cameron and Julian being the helpful neighbors, not the scared dad and brother of the missing kid), and mostly I just thanked everyone a lot and squeezed Mazie very tightly and then everyone left (I saw a few more cop cars drive by over the next few minutes) and I tried to explain to Mazie what was going on... that I had been very, very worried about her because I didn't know where she was, that I was calling her and calling her and she didn't answer. "But I DID answer," she said, which was true... so I tried to explain that the problem was that I had been calling her for a long time before she eventually answered.... I also told her that I was very happy that she had followed instructions and hadn't left the yard... but that hiding from Mommy without telling me she was hiding wasn't a good idea.
Tonight as she was going to bed I heard her repeating a lot of this lecture to her baby doll... so hopefully it registered. On my end, still processing the whole thing and shaking off the lingering trauma... I'm not and was never for a moment angry with Mazie -- she followed my instructions, like I thought she would, and just thought she was playing a game with me. Will I leave her alone in the yard again? Maybe not tomorrow while I'm still shaking this off, but the truth is I want to give my daughter that freedom and trust. Mostly I'm just really, really grateful that this ended the way it did, and that in the moments when my brain was racing around trying to process everything that was happening, one fleeting thought was, "At least she knows I love her." Of course I spent the rest of the evening hugging her and repeating this over and over and over.... Like I said, a parental rite of passage. Not to be repeated again soon, I hope.
Monday, May 23, 2011
Birthday Pictures
Here are a few pictures of the birthday girl. We had a wonderful party yesterday (5/22) at Memory Square Park next to our house with lots of friends and family, and then a nice morning today and a lunch picnic at another park in town with Olivia, Treyden, Carleigh and Doug. We did a terrible job taking pictures so there are only a few... Grandpa took lots more yesterday.
Happy birthday to our sweet Mazie James!
Party at the park...
Water balloons!
Playing with a special little piano from Grandpa Gil and Grandma Ann.
Great Aunt Kerry got me a great puzzle that I can do all by myself!
Nanny and Papa got me a doggie day care sandbox -- it even has a pooper scooper!
Walking to breakfast today, on my ACTUAL birthday (that's what I called it)
Picnic at the park... it's Carleigh's birthday, too!
Mommy and I made special ice cream cone-cupcakes (great idea, Aunt Jen)!
Happy birthday to our sweet Mazie James!
Party at the park...
Water balloons!
Playing with a special little piano from Grandpa Gil and Grandma Ann.
Great Aunt Kerry got me a great puzzle that I can do all by myself!
Nanny and Papa got me a doggie day care sandbox -- it even has a pooper scooper!
Walking to breakfast today, on my ACTUAL birthday (that's what I called it)
Picnic at the park... it's Carleigh's birthday, too!
Mommy and I made special ice cream cone-cupcakes (great idea, Aunt Jen)!
Happy Birthday to Mazie! Three Years Old!
Dear Mazie,
Today is your third birthday. So hard to believe that three years have already gone by since that amazing, wonderful night when you were born. Your daddy and I have loved every minute of those three years... even when you've been difficult (rarely), parenting you has been the most wonderful experience I've ever had.
Last night for a bedtime story I told you the story of your birth. Actually, I started with the part where, years and years ago when they were just friends, a boy named Caleb told a girl named Katie that he thought it would be a good idea for them to get married and have kids together. You interrupted the story to say that you wanted a story with Mazie in it. I told you to keep listening, and you did. I told you how Katie thought Caleb's idea was kind of silly at first, but eventually decided that he was right, and they got married. They talked about having kids all the time, but they had other things they needed to do first and so they waited. Then one day when they were on an airplane Caleb told Katie he thought it was time to have a baby. Once again, Katie wasn't sure about it, but after thinking about it a little bit she decided he was right about this, too, and pretty soon they learned that there was a tiny, tiny beginning of a baby in Katie's belly. Over the next nine months Katie's belly grew and grew, until finally on May 23, 2008, Katie woke up early in the morning and felt her belly squeezing the baby and getting ready for the baby to come out. Ahya was already there waiting, but Nana wasn't planning to come to North Carolina until the next day, so Katie and Caleb called her and told her to get on a plane. All day long my belly kept squeezing and squeezing, and the baby kept moving down, and in the afternoon we went to the hospital and Nana met us there. Daddy and Ahya and Nana helped Mommy breathe and move and get ready for the baby, and then it was time for Mommy to start pushing... and I pushed, and I pushed, and I pushed, and then all of a sudden with one last push the whole baby came squirting out, and Daddy said, "It's a girl!" and then you were on my chest and I looked at you and you were the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. And I was so, so happy, and Daddy was so, so happy, and Ahya was so, so happy, and Nana was so, so happy, and it was the most wonderful moment of my whole life.
I told you this story lying face to face next to you in bed, and the look on your face at the end of the story was so full of joy and pride and love and tenderness, and you reached your sweet little arms out and wrapped them around my neck and I told you that I loved you and you told me you loved me too. And then you said in a gentle little whisper, "Soon another little baby will squirt out of you."
There's just no way to tell you how much I adore you. You continue to be the brightest, sweetest, most wonderful child I can imagine. Your vocabulary keeps growing and growing, and we love to hear your stories and have conversations with you.
Your fourth year will bring a big change for you and our family as we welcome BabyBrotherSister in a few short months. I know this will be an adjustment for all of us, but you have amazed us so far with your attitude and enthusiasm toward this new addition. You already include Tiger in conversations about our family ("We're all here! Mommy, Daddy, Mazie, and BabyBrotherSister!"), and seem genuinely excited about the prospect of being a big sister. The other day you were lying across my lap and hugging my belly and singing a song that included things like, "I don't have any kids to play with at my house right now.... We don't know if you're a boy or a girl, but if you're a brother I'll play with you, and if you're a sister I'll play with you." Again, I know that it will be difficult at times to give up your spot as the sole focus of our attention, but I also just know that, like pretty much everything else, being a big sister is something you are going to excel at. I can't wait to watch you grow into this new role.
I love you entirely, my sweet little girl. Happy birthday.
Love,
Mom
Today is your third birthday. So hard to believe that three years have already gone by since that amazing, wonderful night when you were born. Your daddy and I have loved every minute of those three years... even when you've been difficult (rarely), parenting you has been the most wonderful experience I've ever had.
Last night for a bedtime story I told you the story of your birth. Actually, I started with the part where, years and years ago when they were just friends, a boy named Caleb told a girl named Katie that he thought it would be a good idea for them to get married and have kids together. You interrupted the story to say that you wanted a story with Mazie in it. I told you to keep listening, and you did. I told you how Katie thought Caleb's idea was kind of silly at first, but eventually decided that he was right, and they got married. They talked about having kids all the time, but they had other things they needed to do first and so they waited. Then one day when they were on an airplane Caleb told Katie he thought it was time to have a baby. Once again, Katie wasn't sure about it, but after thinking about it a little bit she decided he was right about this, too, and pretty soon they learned that there was a tiny, tiny beginning of a baby in Katie's belly. Over the next nine months Katie's belly grew and grew, until finally on May 23, 2008, Katie woke up early in the morning and felt her belly squeezing the baby and getting ready for the baby to come out. Ahya was already there waiting, but Nana wasn't planning to come to North Carolina until the next day, so Katie and Caleb called her and told her to get on a plane. All day long my belly kept squeezing and squeezing, and the baby kept moving down, and in the afternoon we went to the hospital and Nana met us there. Daddy and Ahya and Nana helped Mommy breathe and move and get ready for the baby, and then it was time for Mommy to start pushing... and I pushed, and I pushed, and I pushed, and then all of a sudden with one last push the whole baby came squirting out, and Daddy said, "It's a girl!" and then you were on my chest and I looked at you and you were the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. And I was so, so happy, and Daddy was so, so happy, and Ahya was so, so happy, and Nana was so, so happy, and it was the most wonderful moment of my whole life.
I told you this story lying face to face next to you in bed, and the look on your face at the end of the story was so full of joy and pride and love and tenderness, and you reached your sweet little arms out and wrapped them around my neck and I told you that I loved you and you told me you loved me too. And then you said in a gentle little whisper, "Soon another little baby will squirt out of you."
There's just no way to tell you how much I adore you. You continue to be the brightest, sweetest, most wonderful child I can imagine. Your vocabulary keeps growing and growing, and we love to hear your stories and have conversations with you.
Your fourth year will bring a big change for you and our family as we welcome BabyBrotherSister in a few short months. I know this will be an adjustment for all of us, but you have amazed us so far with your attitude and enthusiasm toward this new addition. You already include Tiger in conversations about our family ("We're all here! Mommy, Daddy, Mazie, and BabyBrotherSister!"), and seem genuinely excited about the prospect of being a big sister. The other day you were lying across my lap and hugging my belly and singing a song that included things like, "I don't have any kids to play with at my house right now.... We don't know if you're a boy or a girl, but if you're a brother I'll play with you, and if you're a sister I'll play with you." Again, I know that it will be difficult at times to give up your spot as the sole focus of our attention, but I also just know that, like pretty much everything else, being a big sister is something you are going to excel at. I can't wait to watch you grow into this new role.
I love you entirely, my sweet little girl. Happy birthday.
Love,
Mom
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