Off to School

On Thursday, August 22, Athena started preschool, and on Tuesday the 27th Mazie started kindergarten.  Both girls did great and seem to be loving their new schools.

Athena is going to the Patchwork School in Louisville, about a 10 min walk or a 5 min bike ride from our house.  For a number of reasons, we decided to start her out at a different preschool than the one Mazie attended (along with most of her local cousins, and her dad and Aunt Jen and Uncle Ian and Uncle Michael!).  Last spring we looked at a few different options and decided on Patchwork due to its educational philosophy (the self-directed learning and focus on communication seem like a great match for Athena's personality), flexible schedule (she'll be going from 9-3 on Tuesday and Thursday), and proximity to our house and Mazie's school.  We visited with Athena once in the spring, and at an open house the day before she started.  I let her wear her little backpack to the open house, and she was so excited to wear it that she refused to take it off to eat breakfast before school started and sat awkwardly pitched forward in her high chair with the pack behind her.  (A minor fit ensued when I insisted she take it off to get in her car seat.)  When the big day arrived, she put her pack on and also got to take a lunch box -- we picked a John Wayne one that's been hanging around mostly unused since we got it at a family white elephant gift exchange a couple of years ago.  If she was excited about the backpack, she was THRILLED with her lunchbox.  Can you tell?

The drop-off at school went very smoothly.  She walked into her classroom, put her backpack on its hook, and immediately opened her lunchbox and started eating some dried mangoes.  Mazie and I gave her hugs and said goodbye, and she cheerily said goodbye back and kept eating.  She's gone back two more times and has had a great time -- they've even gotten her to take nice, long naps.  When she's not sleeping, she apparently carries her lunchbox around all day... and has even asked to sleep with it at home.  So we're grateful to John Wayne for helping Athena with her transition to school.

On Tuesday it was Mazie's turn.  Our big kid has been excited about starting kindergarten for months... or probably even years.  Since we moved to Louisville, we've walked by the school and talked about how, "That's going to be YOUR school when you get a little bigger!"  So she's been looking forward to this moment for quite a while, and hadn't really expressed any nervousness until a couple of weeks ago.  We were on our vacation in Washington with Nanny and Papa, and she asked if she was going to know any of the kids in her kindergarten class.  I told her that she wouldn't at first, and that made her a little nervous, but then we talked about how she didn't know any of the kids in her preschool class when she first started there, and how crazy it was to think about the fact that she once didn't know Matthew and Quentin and Katie.  Then we talked about how some of the kids she met in kindergarten would be the same kids she ended up going to middle school and high school with, and how it was actually really exciting that she didn't know any of them now because it meant that they were all new friends who she would get to know for years and years.  As a parent, it's always hard to tell how well these pep talks are going to resonate... so I was quite pleased when a few days later someone asked her if she knew any of the kids in her kindergarten class, and she happily replied that, "NO, I don't know any of them yet!"

When the big day arrived, we all got up nice and early, had breakfast, and then got on our bikes and headed to school.

Since we were there a bit early, she got to spend a few minutes playing on the playground before the first bell rang, signalling time for the kids to line up outside of their classrooms.



We gave her hugs and she got in line... and then we gave her more hugs... and then the second bell rang and she and then other kids marched into school.  She did great -- she wanted her hugs and I did note a little lip quiver, but she waved goodbye and was on her way. (Later she told me she was a little sad about leaving us, but that she had fun as soon as school started.)

ME, on the other hand... I think I started crying the minute we got to school and didn't stop until well after her classroom door closed!  Through my tears I had the thought that it must be hysterical to be a kindergarten teacher and watch the spectacle of all the weeping parents....  Anyway, it was a pretty amazing moment... she's so BIG, and yet still so little.  It was just hard to imagine her being in SCHOOL -- not a safe little preschool with 2-3 teachers and a parent around at all times, but a big school with one teacher and 20 kids and hallways and playgrounds and lunch rooms and music and art and PE....  Crazy.

But of course, she has done great.  Her school actually has half-day kindergarten and then the option of "enrichment" the other half of the day (and you can do enrichment 2, 3, or 5 days/week).  Back in the spring I asked what she wanted, and she said she wanted to go to school all day every day.  So she has her enrichment class in the mornings and kindergarten in the afternoons.  She even bought hot lunch one day this past week, and has circled the two days this coming week that she wants to buy lunch.  (School lunches have come a long way... her menu looks really yummy!)  So all in all, we've had a very smooth transition for both kids, and are very grateful to have them both in great schools close to home.

Speaking of home, I'm writing this many miles from there... in Accra, Ghana, for a 9-day work trip for a project looking at clean cookstoves and their behavioral, air quality, and health effects.  I'm traveling with a colleague from CU (Ricardo... who happens to also be a soccer teammate of Caleb's), and we arrived here last night.  We are flying from here up to our study site in Northern Ghana in a few hours.  So I'll be gone for the girls' second week of school, and am also grateful for all the support Caleb has as he holds down the fort.  I'm already missing those sweet little girls... can't wait to squeeze them again when I get home.

 

Road Trip 2013

We just accomplished a 17 day, 4,490 mile, 16 state road trip.  This was our route:

Our first stop was outside of Madison, WI, where David (a colleague/friend from our Madison days), Lolly, Henry, Charlie, and Jack were nice enough to let us spend the night after a long day in the car, and then shared a nice breakfast and some fiddle and piano tunes before it was time for us to hit the road again.  They also helped us come up with an idea for our group pictures at each road trip destination: line up tallest to shortest and set the camera up on an auto-timer.  Partly because we were trying to smile while the mosquitoes closed in on us, I also decided on a "one take" rule.  

July 6, Oregon, WI: The Merrell-Van Sickle Crew

Next stop was the Cottage.  We had a great week with perfect weather, lots of boating and swimming, and great fun with cousins.  Grandpa and Grandma and Aunt Shannon and Uncle Jacob were there for the beginning of the week, and then Nana came up for the second half of the week.  (Her brother Jim dropped her off, so he made it into the group shot below.)  While everyone was there, we held a second wedding for Shannon and Jacob since the kids weren't at the main event (in Bend, OR in May).  

July 8, Three Lakes, WI: The Dickinsons

From Wisconsin we drove across Michigan's Upper Peninsula, down through Michigan and Ohio and rolled in late at night to my stepsister Emily's house in Pittsburgh.  We slept in the next morning and then spent the day at the pool, where Mazie and Athena had a great time swimming and playing with Maggie, Brady, and Alison.  In the evening we had a great cook out with Emily's husband Brian's family and co-workers.  Of course, we made all of them line up for another group shot.  (This one wins the prize for most challenging camera placement... it was propped up on top of our van, and I just barely made it up the hill and into the shot.  Note the kids looking over to see if I made it.)

 July 13, Pittsburgh, PA: The Lowes (and friends)

After Pittsburgh, we were headed to the Outer Banks of North Carolina.  Along the way, we stopped in Richmond for lunch with Tiffany (another friend from our Madison days) and her fiance Mark.  They introduced us to a very yummy vegetarian restaurant, and Tiffany was sweet enough to show up with a basket of tropical-themed picnic bowls and cups that kept the kids entertained.

July 14, Richmond, VA: Tiffany Green and Mark Robinson

And then we were at the beach!  We had another wonderful week with more great (if hot and humid) weather, and most importantly, our wonderful (and ever growing) group of friends from our Durham days: the Lupiens (now in Maine), the Collinses (in Boston), and the Gray-Ekblad crew (in Guelph, Ontario).  The house we rented had lots of space for all of us, and the kids enjoyed the beach, the pool, and each other.  Note the big difference between this group and the cottage crew:  Mazie went from second shortest in the height lineup (and third youngest) to the oldest & tallest kid!  Not surprisingly, we didn't quite manage to keep this young group completely in line...

July 18, Southern Shores, NC: Durham Friends Reunion

We were having so much fun at the beach that we decided to stay an extra day and cram the originally-planned 3-day return trip into 2 days.  We did manage to squeeze in a (too) short visit with the Smiths, also part of our Durham clan, who weren't able to join us at the beach this year (but we look forward to seeing them next year at the Cottage!).  Mazie and Lauren put on a little singing and dancing performance for us, so that was pretty cute.

July 20, Durham, NC: The Smiths

After leaving the Smiths we put in a long day on the road and then stopped for a 1:30 am - 6 am nap at a motel in St Louis.  From there we drove about 3 hrs to Kyle and Jodi's (childhood/high school friends from Boulder) house outside of Kansas City.  Once again the visit was too short, but it was great to see the Woltman's new house and to finally meet 3 year old Annabelle, who did a great job of sharing her toys and playing with Mazie and Athena.

July 21, Overland Park, KS: The Woltmans

From there it was a short 9 hr drive back to our home sweet home.  The kiddos actually did great on the entire ride... there were rough patches here and there, but surprisingly few given the 70+ hours we ended up spending in the car!  Grateful for a fun adventure filled with so many great people... and also grateful to be home for the next few weeks....

Mazie James is 5 (and then some)

Mazie turned five on May 23.  We had a celebration at her school, and then she played her last soccer game of the season and we had a little party at the field afterwards with pizza and cake.

The next day, Caleb and I flew to Oregon for Shannon's wedding.  Mazie and Athena stayed home and had a pretty fun weekend... Nanny and Papa came to help out since Ahya had to make a trip to Montreal to celebrate Uncle Logan's college graduation!  Mazie had "dates" with Ahya (breakfast, pedicure, and Build-a-Bear) and Nanny and Papa (lunch, root beer floats, and getting a fish for her new fish tank).  Despite coming down with a little cold & cough, the girls mostly did great and we were grateful for a fun grown-up getaway.  (Shannon's wedding was beautiful...)

When we got back Mazie, as a five year old, got to have her first Nana-hosted tea party.  On the way there, I asked what it was like being five, and she said it was good but also hard because she was a lot more "responsible" and had to do a lot more things.  Well said, kiddo.

Since then we've been quite busy... took a trip to Boise for Caleb to coach not one but two of his soccer teams that both won their respective state-wide President's Cup and were playing in the regional tournament.  (Both teams played well but did not advance to nationals.)  Here we on our way to the airport... the girls and I flew up and met Caleb, who drove up with his teams.  We all drove back in one of the team vans.

Got back in town just in time to welcome Alli, Bryon, Miles, and Hazel to Louisville -- they moved here from Durham and are now our neighbors!  Crazy!

Next up was a camping trip to a gorgeous spot in the Flat Tops area of Colorado with Ty and Sara.  We ate well of course (dutch oven pizzas), played some extreme croquet, and celebrated Ty's 29th birthday on June 23.

This past weekend we held the First Annual AlliKat Pub Crawl -- a tour of Louisville to introduce Bryon and Alli to their new home and community.  Great fun.

Next up: a 17 day road trip covering 16 states.  Wisconsin cottage to North Carolina beach house and back, with several fun stops along the way.

But back to my Mazie... at five, she is lovely, bright (as always), and kind.  She finished preschool in early June and is very excited to be heading to kindergarten in the fall.  She can read and write a growing list of words and, as she is eager to demonstrate, can count to 108.  (Not sure why that's the stopping point.)  I adore her curiosity and growing problem solving skills.  This morning I asked her to write a thank you note (belatedly) for one of her birthday presents and she dove right in: she told me what she wanted to say and I wrote it on a piece of paper, and then she copied it onto her card.  With no lines to keep the letters straight on the card, the words got a bit jumbled and she got frustrated and decided she needed to start over, but by then she was getting tired of writing.  I told her to just try and finish it up, and then I went upstairs to change Athena's diaper.  When I came back down, she was still sitting with the blank card and I expected more complaining, but she said, "Mommy, I was thinking about it and since I'm getting a little tired of writing, I thought we could take turns:  I'll write a letter, and then you write a letter."  So we wrote out the whole note that way.  I loved her maturity and creativity in that moment... she was committed to getting the note done, so she came up with a plan.

Here are some recent photos of our amazing Mazie.  I love you, little darling.

Our Verbal Girls

As our recent videos attest, we have two kids who love to hear themselves talk, and usually have some pretty entertaining things to say.  It's been really neat to watch them both experiencing different kinds of language explosions recently...

Athena has moved from words to phrases to sentences to paragraphs.  Though she hasn't given us any stories quite like some of the ones Mazie was telling at about her age, she's hinting toward some similar creativity.  (And she also seems to enjoy talking with her hands like Mazie.) We lost count of her words months ago, but I'm guessing the list is at least 500 strong.  In the space of about 5 minutes the other day, Caleb and I counted 25 body-related nouns, at least as many foods, and then got sidetracked.  (We're pretty busy these days.)  She has a darling little voice and I'm surprised at how clear most of her words are.  Of all her language, I think what I'm loving most right now are all of her little expressions and enthusiasm.  Hand her something and you'll get a cheerful, "Ee oo!" ("Thank you!")  Drop something and she'll offer a sympathetic, "Oh, man!"  Offer to take her outside or make her some food and she'll agree with an enthusiastic, "Yeah!  "Let's DO it!" We've been trying to teach her to say, "I love you," but the you/me thing is a bit confusing, so she'll usually go with, "I uv ME!" or "I uv DADDY!"  Tonight in bed she was saying random little phrases like "Daddy pants!" (cite: an Uncle Ian original song), and then when I laughed she would say, "That funny?  Daddy pants?  That funny?" which made me laugh more, and then she'd ask, "That silly, Mommy?"  Clearly, learning humor is an important developmental phase in this house, and she's already got it pretty well mastered.  She even laughs at her own jokes, with big, forced guffaws that show off her big little teeth.

Meanwhile, Mazie is learning to read and write.  She can spell the names of everyone in our family, most of her classmates, and many of her cousins.  She knows several other words like, "Book," "You," "On," and "Off."  Recently, she's taken to answering questions by spelling, "Y-E-S" or "N-O," or saying things like "I do N-O want to do that."  Her Our School teachers recently talked to us a bit about some research suggesting that kids learn to read from seeing words over and over and putting them in context rather than through more traditional phonics-based methods.  So we haven't been emphasizing letters and the sounds they make too much, but it's been really interesting to see how interested she is becoming in those connections on her own.  She'll say things like, "B-b-bear ... that begins with B!"  Like everything she does, it's a joy to watch her bright little brain explore and create and discover.  And lest you think she's ONLY a verbal girl, fear not: she's also showing lots of interest in math.  We recently discovered this sheet full of equations she had written out on her own:

It took a minute of looking at this before I realized what she had done.  She knows that "one plus one equals four," but we'd never done any math in writing, so she just made up her own symbology for "plus" and "equals."  And somehow, that last row is (we think) 5 + 5 + 5 + 5 =20.  All ready for kindergarten!

Videos: Athena at 20 months and Mazie at almost 5

I'm overdue for an update but it's already late on a Sunday evening and some video footage will have to suffice for now.  Both girls are doing great and as these videos attest our home is usually filled with both of them talk talk talking, often at the same time.


(Warning: This one is LONG.)

One and a Half

Athena is 18 months old... she's been out twice as long as she was in.  At her check up this week, she weighed in at 21 lbs 11.5 (38th percentile).  She is 2'8" (55th percentile), and, of course, perfect.

The latest major event in Athena's life has been the abrupt end to her nursing career.  Last Friday I got my vaccinations for my upcoming trip to Ghana, and that was it for breastfeeding.  Athena has handled the transition fairly well.  The first night she cried quite a bit when she woke up in the night asking for milk and I told her it was all gone.  In the middle of her fit, though, we heard a train and she calmed down to listen to it and then went back to sleep.  Over the next few nights, when she got up and asked to nurse I would say, "Athena, do you remember when we heard the train?" and (most of the time) she would stop crying and say, "Yeah!" and then settle down and go to sleep.  Almost a week later, she still asks for milk a few times a day (and wakes up a couple of times at night), but she seems more and more resigned to the reality that it's all gone.  Definitely bittersweet... I love that she's growing up and am excited about getting better sleep, but I'll miss those sweet nursing moments with her, too.

Here are some pictures from a lovely trip to the zoo this weekend.  Mazie is a great helper --since Athena is  at an age where she loves to walk by herself and often in her own direction, it comes in very handy that she also loves holding hands with Mazie.  They are a sweet little pair.

Why I Support Colorado's Civil Unions Bill

Last week the girls and I went to the capital to lobby our representatives in support of Colorado's civil unions bill.  Afterwards, I sat down and wrote this....

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When my husband and I were crafting our wedding ceremony in 2004, we felt compelled to include an acknowledgment that, as a straight couple, our decisions to get married and publicly proclaim our love for one another was completely easy and socially accepted, and to express a profound wish that one day, all loving couples who wished to take this important step together would be able to do so.  My youngest brother was 12 at the time, and I’m not sure whether he heard this particular message, but our family’s belief that “gay is okay” was consistently present as he was growing up.

During Christmas break of his freshman year of college, my brother told us that he was gay.  Our family threw him a “coming out” party, and his high school and college friends (all of whom he had told a few months before he told us) supported and embraced him with open arms.  Without exception, those closest to him made it abundantly clear that we accepted and loved him, and that we were incredibly proud of him for being honest with himself and with all of us. 

It’s hard to imagine a more seamless coming out story, or a community better matched to the needs of a young gay person.  And yet, in talking with Logan about his experience, what struck me was how difficult this experience had been.  Despite all of our best conscious intentions, Logan was surrounded by mixed messages.  We earnestly expressed support for gay rights, but with no close gay relatives or role models, “those people” remained some foreign, other, unknown bloc worthy and needing of our “support,” but apparently not a living, breathing part of our community. 

Meanwhile, the stated and unstated messages we gave Logan about himself and his future clearly painted a picture of who we wanted and expected him to be: “When you grow up and get married [to a woman]….”  And beyond his immediate family, the messages were even clearer.  In 2009, when Logan came out, same-sex marriage was only legal in four states, and every time the issue had been put to voters in a referendum, it had been clearly defeated.  Collectively, despite our best intentions, the message Logan was receiving was that being gay might be okay for other people, but it was not something that was okay for him.  The conflict between this message and his growing realization of who he was led to bouts of depression.  Fortunately, his strength of character and the support of his friends won out, and at the age of eighteen, with his whole life ahead of him, Logan was able to say the words, “I’m gay.”

It broke my heart to learn how much my baby brother had struggled with his identity.  (Adolescence is hard enough without adding all of that on top of it!)  Now, as the mother of two young children, I am determined to do everything I can to “make it better” for my kids, no matter who they are or who they love.  At home, when I talk to my girls, I do my best to paint pictures of their future that leave all options open: “When you get older and fall in love with a boy or a girl….”   I am thrilled that they will grow up with a wonderful gay role model in their Uncle Logan. 

But I also know that having a supportive family isn’t enough.  As long as our society tells us that only straight couples are entitled to have their relationships recognized and celebrated, we are continuing to give our children the message that their worth is contingent on one tiny yet fundamental part of their being.  To me, that message is unacceptable.  That is why, this Monday, I took my girls to the state capital for “LGBT Lobby Day” to urge our state senator and representative to support Colorado’s Civil Unions bill and other pro-equality legislation.  I hope that all Coloradans will join me in the quest to build a more equal and inclusive future for our children.

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Here we are marching to the capital...

Posing with Sen. Matt Jones (a supporter of civil unions)