Golfing in Rwanda! Caleb's Log v.11

Can we just start by acknowledging how much better Katie is at blogging regularly?  If you were relying on my updates, you wouldn't know jack squat.

Some background.  I don't golf that much.  I've golfed ever since I was a little kid, but never seriously and I've never gotten very good at it.  I usually go a handful of times a year (father's day, dad's birthday, on vacation in Wisconsin, a charity event, and maybe another time or two).  So, the idea of bringing my golf clubs all the way to Africa so that I could play might seem very odd.  It is a little odd, to be honest.

Here was the thought.  

1.  I'm going to have all day every day without my kids (at school) and without any of you (sleeping).  I can work on my computer, but day time is the time to have fun, since all my meetings are at night and the kids are home.

2.  I knew this trip would be difficult in some ways and I thought it would be nice to have something like a break from "reality." 

3.  I did think I might meet some people if I played with others, but that was more of a negative than a positive.  I didn't come to Rwanda to meet golfers.

4.  I am on City Council and I attend meetings via zoom.  Our meetings are at 6pm in Colorado, so 3am (now 2am) in Rwanda.  That means that I go to bed from 11-2:30, wake up and have some coffee and throw on a dress shirt over some pajama bottoms and participate from 3-7am.  I thought it would be a nice treat on Wednesdays to go golfing, eat lunch, take a nap, and then spend the evening with my kids, while Katie teaches remotely  So, I decided I would golf EVERY Wednesday while I'm in Kigali.

When I had the idea, I didn't even know if there would be a golf course here, but I looked it up online and found that there was a very nice course, the Kigali Golf Club.  I bought a 6-month membership, so I can golf as much as I want "for free."  (turns out if you give someone a lot of money up front, you can get a lot for free)

Okay...that's the background.  Now, the experience.

The first day was a bit of a shitshow.  Google maps took me to a construction site with a security guard that was not happy with my presence.  I drove into another area where I saw a golf cart and they were equally unhappy with me.  They pointed me towards a parking lot with trees and field.  I parked there and walked along a long
path until I found a little building near a green.  I told them I'd like to golf and they were all pretty confused.  Eventually we worked out the details and I got a membership and a tee time.  I was informed that I had to go back to the parking lot and get a caddy. It's mandatory and I should pay them 4,000rwf for 9 holes or 7,000 for 18 holes. (roughly $4 or $7 usd) So, I went out to the car and took my clubs out of the trunk.  A young man came jogging from 50 yards away where several people were gathered under a tent.  He spoke a little English and asked me if I was a guest or a member.  I proudly stated that I was a member, and he put a velcro "MEMBER" name tag on his back.  He then carried my clubs to the first hole where I would join some other golfers. (it is now my goal to get my name instead of "member" like the other cool golfers, but don't think it's going to happen)

Hole #1 is hole #13 (or vice versa).  There used to be a 9 hole, par 3 course on one side of a large road.  It had been there for a few years, but now it's only 6 holes (13-18) and they are building a beautiful clubhouse on that side. (that's the construction from earlier in the post) They've built holes 1-12 on the other side of the road.  Eventually, you'll start on hole #1 and end at hole #18 and enjoy the great clubhouse.  But for now, you start on hole #13 and finish on hole #12 that is near the hole #1 tee and the #9 green and there is a small building there called the halfway house.  So, when it's done you'll play 1-9, be at the halfway house, play 10-12 and then go across the street and finish up with 13-18.  

I regret that last paragraph and so far I'm wishing I hadn't started this blog.  It's not funny or interesting.  I guess I'm just trying to get the point across that it's awkward.  Everything feels weird. Even the hole you're on.  Oh, and it's all meters instead of yards, so you have to do math in your head to figure out what club to use and the altitude is different, so....yeah.  Terrible blog.

The reason I wanted to write about golfing originally was because of two things. First, the incredible juxtaposition of playing golf at a club that is $100usd per round in a country where 70% of residents earn less than $2.00 per day.  I also found my stories of the first few rounds pretty funny as I adjusted to having a caddy who would take care of all my needs, like cleaning my clubs and the ball after every swing.  I've never played with a caddy before (I'm not poor, you're poor) and I had great stories of how quickly I became comfortable with this service.

In then end, what has been interesting to me is the people I've met while golfing and my chameleon approach to relationships.

Let's start with the people.

I have met the head of the UN in Rwanda, the CEO of the largest coffee company in Rwanda, the head architect for the president's new home and an entire new part of town, as well as the clubhouse at the course.  I have met business men in the world of mining and tech, a lawyer, an insurance agent, a restaurant owner, an economic adviser to the president and the list goes on.  I feel like I've been making real friendships with some of them too.  

The round usually goes like this...

"Hi.  I signed up to join you three today.  Is that okay?"  

They check with the person who's in charge and find out that I have indeed signed up at the same time as them.  They're not thrilled, but they welcome me to the game and make me shoot first.  I ALWAYS shank my first shot and then we're off.  They mostly ignore me for the first hole or two, but by hole 3 I strike up a conversation with one of them.  Hole 4 I have the same convo with the 2nd person and on hole 5 (also known as hole #17 on the course) I converse with the 3rd player.  On the long walk from hole 18 to hole number 1, we're starting to become friends.  The last 12 holes are fun and by the end we're exchanging phone numbers and promising to golf together again.

There is a part of me that feels guilty for making friends with the "elites" of Rwanda.  Like I came here to see all the suffering and hardship and this is bullshit.  What I have come to realize is that the golf club is ABSOLUTELY Rwanda.  Just like my neighbor is Rwanda and like the farmers in the country side are Rwanda.  It's a rich tapestry of all kinds of people living all kinds of lives and being with the wealthy people helps to complete the picture.  It's kinda weird to say it like this, but that rich guy on the golf course deserves my respect too.

That leads me to my second point (this post is 6,000 words long and I just said, this leads me to my second point.  I'm sorry). I am a bit of a chameleon, personality wise.  I've struggled to determine if I have no personality and I change based on my surroundings or if I have 20 personalities that I bring out to match the texture of the moment.  Sometimes I wish that I was exactly the same in all settings, but I think there is a sweetness and kindness in matching the energy of the person you're with.

***Some of you must be thinking, "he's never matched my personality and I've known him for 40 years." Maybe I don't like your personality.  It doesn't look good on me.  :)

But seriously, here is the point.  I LOVE that I can go play golf with the head of the UN and talk about the economic conditions of Rwanda and how it compares and contrasts with other African countries he's lived in and then turn to my caddy, Moses, that I have become friends with and talk about how excited I am for him to meet my dad next week. (most golfers don't really talk to the caddy's) Then I go home and sit out in my driveway with the neighborhood kids for an hour playing games without a shared language before heading off to dinner at an Asian fusion restaurant that a golfing buddy owns.

I love that I truly appreciate Vestine and Ozonia (neighbor without power or water and head of the UN) for who they are in the world and they are both equally deserving of my time and attention.  I don't think the two of them would hang out, but they both seem to enjoy hanging out with me.

Okay, that's it.  Not my favorite post.  If you're wondering (and no one is), my golf game has not improved at all.  I've played 10 rounds in 3 months and my score has only gotten worse.  I am getting much better at relying on someone else to pick my club and find my ball in the weeds, though.

Cool.  So.  Yeah. That's a post about me and golfing and how I can be friends with anyone.  What an asshole.

Can I not post this?  Can I write this and then maybe just email to myself for posterity?  

I'm sorry if you read this whole post.  If you tuned out after the part about which hole is which, I'm proud of you, but you'll never know it.

I'm off my game.  I'll do better next week.