Caleb's Log v.8

Rwanda Time!!

Cullen Choi likes to say, “Early is on time, on time is late, and late is unacceptable.” I have adopted this mantra in spirit, but not in practice.  That looks like me trying really hard to be on time, being late, then feeling bad about that, because it’s unacceptable. 

Here in Rwanda we have had the incredible pleasure of getting to meet many amazing people.  Actually meeting up with them has been challenging. 

Gisele wanted to get together with the kids after school.  So we agreed to meet at Nature Kigali, a fantastic hotel/restaurant.  School ends at 2:00, but her kids are farther away, so she said she would be there closer to 3:00.  We took our time, walking from school and arrived around 2:30.  At 3:45, Gisele arrived without any awkwardness. 

A few days later, I met up with Leonce and Audrey, a couple of local football players.  We decided on Choma’d at 5:00.  I texted them that I would be there AT 5:00pm.  Not wanting to offend my hosts, I showed up right at 5:00pm, but was not surprised they were not there.  This was far enough along in our stay, that I would have been disappointed in them if they were there at 5:00.  I was not expecting Audrey to show up at 5:45 and Leonce to show up at 7:15.

A week later, I started to get my timing a bit better.  Audrey and I were to meet at a store where I could buy some cleats.  We agreed to meet at 6:30 and we even put the event on our calendars at 6:30.  So, I left my home at 6:45, showed up at 7:05 and he had been waiting for 5 minutes.

He took me to the football venue where I would play the following week at 8:00pm.  I asked him what time I should arrive on Wednesday.  I asked, “8:00pm or 8:00pm Rwanda Time?”  He laughed and said that they actually arrive around 7:30 to organize their team before their time slot begins.  Right at 8:00pm they get the field for one hour.  Cool.  Different situation, because there is a field rental aspect.

After getting the kids settled with dinner, I left the house around 7:25 and got there around 7:45.  I texted that I would get there about that time, and he said it was fine.  When I got there, he was not there.  He arrived at 8:10 and his teammates got there around 8:20. We took the field at 8:35 and played until 10:00pm.  Now I’m genuinely confused.  Does time just not mean the same thing?

When Joseph agreed to meet us at 2:00 at the Genocide Memorial, we made sure we got there around 2:30.  He was there at 1:30.  That’s not fair. 

Kevine wanted to throw Alexa a surprise birthday party at 4:00 at Question Coffee.  At 5:00pm, she texted “On my way,” with a running emoji.  She arrived at 5:50pm.  We literally sat at the coffee shop, waiting for a surprise cake to be delivered for 2 hours. That’s also not fair.

I am fine with 5:00 meaning “after 5:00” maybe 5:30 or even 6:00.  This is what we call Dickinson Time.  All you know is that no one will be there before 5:00 and they could be there any time after.  I just want to understand the parameters. 

This is only half of the Rwandan Time that we’re discovering.  The other piece would be better described as Rwanda Pace.

You all know about my 6 hours at the bank that seemed totally normal to everyone else.  No one is ever in a rush.  When you arrive at a restaurant, you can expect to be greeted in the first 5 minutes, but not as you sit.  When you order two sodas, a juice, a tea, and a beer you should expect to wait for 10 minutes or so.  After you order your food, it’s at least 30 minutes before anything arrives, but more likely 45 minutes.  The bill will not come for another 30 minutes unless you’re an asshole and you ask for it.

The sense I get is actually quite simple.  “What is your hurry?  If all you want to do is get on with your day, you’re welcome to leave.  Sit down, relax, enjoy your stay.”

It’s quite lovely, if you’re not in a hurry.  The funny thing is that Rwanda Pace seems to be responsible for Rwanda Time.  How could I possibly get anywhere on time when everyone I’m dealing with is operating on Rwanda Pace.

Truthfully and sincerely, I’m trying to adjust and relax and enjoy the slower pace.  It’s not unusual in other cultures for time to be flexible.  I’m struggling because I want to be respectful of my hosts and it feels like I need to be late, to do that.  I also want to do multiple things in a day.  It’s really frustrating to agree to meet someone at 3:00pm and have no idea what time you should arrive.  What’s the point?  I’ll meet you at the house to pick up the table sometime in the afternoon.  I am now committing a 3 hour window for a 5 minute transaction.  It’s like all of Kigali is Comcast who will be at your home sometime between 8:00am and 1:00pm, but totally go about your day like normal.  And if they show up at 1:30, that’s okay too.

Here is the only thing I can be certain of right now...

Late is on time, on time is early, and early is unacceptable.